Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We have started to decorate penises.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
