You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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