Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
