it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
