Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
