Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
