god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
