I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
