eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
