# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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