so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
