She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
