census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
