and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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