he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
a search helicopter?!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
