wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
