your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
