Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Small penises have feelings too.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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