I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I deserve this hangover.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
