oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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