Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
