haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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