2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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