sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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