My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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