Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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