You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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