Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
