Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
