How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize