She tied me up with her honor cords...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
