He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
