this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
