Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The Olympian is in my bed
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
