Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
