This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
