Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
