We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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