So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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