very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
