How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
