No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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