i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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