Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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