he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
