Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
