scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
