We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
