I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
