He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
