oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
