Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
