I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
