you're like a bully in the Christmas story
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
