The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
