I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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