She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
